Nepali Media

If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

How do frogs die? They Ker-mit suicide.

Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.

no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!

The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?

The jogger who overslept found himself running late.

Nok nok.Who’s there?….Marie!….Marie who?…..Mariewhowanna….!!

Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman? The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!

when is a man worth some money??…………….When he pushes a trolley.

hy are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!

When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get?

How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?

Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

What is the velocity of the darkness ?

When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?

What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?

The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ….. They both get on the nerve.

Why do have so many men a beer gut? ….. Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.

What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? …… That is beyond his comprehension.

Why are men like snails? ….. They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.

Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? …. Because he would be a woman then.

When do you know you are overweight? …. When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.

It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ………………. My fly!

How is an intelligent woman called? ………………….. A transvestite

Why does beer contain female hormones ? … When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.

Why is a false eye made of glass?…..To look through

When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?

When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ….. When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke

What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? …… Shoot again.

Why the trolleys were invented ? …….. To learn women to walk on their hind legs.

What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet

It is white and it stands in the corner? ……. A punished fridge

How does a dummy catch a rabbit? … He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? …… A battery has also a positive side.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.

Why does a kamikaze wear a helmet ?

Where are the first 6 up’s ?

What do you prefer in the hereafter?………..Smoking or non-smoking area.